


Flowers For The Dead

by OasisLake76



Series: Godly!Ash [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Arceus loves his grandson, Gen, Lugia/Tapu Koko, Red is dead, but it’s barely there, emotional angst, godly!ash, he was murdered prior tho, is hinted a little, it’s not stated but, that’s why the Major Character Death is there, with a bit of past wounds flaring up, ye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:55:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21750388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OasisLake76/pseuds/OasisLake76
Summary: Ash dreaded this day with all his soul. Nothing made it better and he always ended up crying somewhere private every year. But this time he doesn't have a hide away. Not unlike Alola where forests covered most of the four islands. He’s in dorms, with a roommate who’s also nosey, in a city he still doesn’t know well yet.A.K.A the pre-story to “Be Scared, Be Very Scared” and why Gou is not with Ash in this AU
Relationships: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Arceus
Series: Godly!Ash [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563958
Comments: 3
Kudos: 183





	Flowers For The Dead

Ash dreaded this day with all his soul. Nothing made it better and he always ended up crying somewhere private every year. But this time he doesn't have a hide away. Not unlike Alola where forests covered most of the four islands. He’s in dorms, with a roommate who’s also  _ nosey, _ in a city he still doesn’t know well yet. 

He grimaced as more rain heavy fell onto him. Gou was being stubborn with the only umbrella,  _ Ash’s  _ umbrella, because  _ apparently  _ Ash was being  _ mean  _ to his new Scorbunny. Fucking God, does Ash want to puke right now. Just hurl everything that’s been churning in his stomach since last night. The trainer knew he should have eaten more at breakfast and should have stopped somewhere to get some actual lunch. Instead he had gotten a small tea from some vendor in town, Ash couldn't even finish  _ half  _ of the drink before shakingly dumping it into a nearby trash can. _ It wasn’t that good anyways, _ is what Ash tells himself when the cup dropped from his hand. 

Gou called him wasteful, Ash couldn’t look the other in the eyes as he tried to hide his shaking hands and trying to keep his labored breath in check. The rain reminded Ash of snow, and the snow reminded him of frozen seas and his first - _ second _ \- war. Ash’s bones ache so much it’s hard to breath. He doesn’t tell Gou in fear of being ignored or belittled, like Misty did, Like May did, like Dawn did,  _ like Iris did- _

They weren’t  _ there  _ yet in their friendship. If anyone would call what they had a  _ friendship.  _

Everything felt too loud, too big, too  _ crushing. _ Ash wanted his Mom, but he didn’t dare call her. She’s probably mourning with the Oaks and the rest of Pallet Town, maybe Lance had come down from the castle to mourn with them. The returned Champion’s own guilt eating everything away inside because he couldn’t save the life of one of the most heroic people Lance had ever met in his life. 

It was okay though, because Ash felt the same. 

The blood was on his hands, not theirs. 

_ Ash should have done more. _

He didn’t realize that Gou had lead them back to the Dorms. Opening the gate without waiting for Ash to follow. Some friend  _ he  _ was. 

Ash had to struggle a little for the first time, and he believes it won't be the last, to open the gate. When did it get so heavy? Doesn’t matter, his sin’s weigh more than just a door made out of iron bars. Ash wonders where Pikachu is as he sees Gou shake the umbrella as Scorbunny hops around its trainer. Pikachu is probably avoiding him, all his Pokemon do on this day. Ash doesn’t know whether to be happy or crushed by that fact. Ash’s hand’s won’t stop shaking as he enters the building sopping wet. 

If Ash was honest, he was fully expecting a large pile of boxes by the door, presents from League Members around the world. Mostly devoid of emotion, thought, and care like they usually are. year after year, it’s the same routine. And to his gut reaction, Ash was right.

There sitting next to the front door to the dorms is a high pile of boxes, covered in stamps from around the world. 

And Professor Sakuragi stood by them with a small crowded. He looked stressed at minimum and angry at most. Ash felt a sob burning on the back of his tongue. Koharu stands next to her father, the girls Yamper sitting at her feet, her arms are crossed and the younger girl looks unimpressed. 

“Mr. Ketchum.” Professor Sakuragi stated, motioning Ash to come forward. The sob almost slipped past Ash’s lips, he bit his tongue to keep quiet. “Mind telling me why these boxes are here in the entryway? And who their address to you?” 

Ash didn't want to, he  _ really  _ didn’t want to. But if he didn’t Ash would cause a bigger scene than the one already building around him. It felt like hundreds of eyes were staring into his soul, just waiting for the young teen to slip and mess up, to watch him fall into a pit of darkness even he couldn’t get out of. “Their for me, but not for me.” was Ash’s response. Head tilted down slightly as a stray thought of  _ where was his partner? _ Passed his mind. 

Whispers started up around Ash. but he didnt care, he was more worried about the Professor in front of him. Who looked even more disappointed in Ash as the seconds grew. 

“Ash that doesn’t make any  _ sense _ .” Professor Sakuragu replied. His anger was thickly veiled behind his words. But Ash knows anyways, he always does in these kinds of situations.

He could only shrug. Watching small droplets fall into the forming puddle below his feet. “Their for  _ me _ , but their not  _ for  _ me.” Ash stressed his words. And before he knew what was going on, more tumbled out and off his tongue. “Their  _ addressed _ to me, but they're meant for my  _ brother. _ Who’s buried six feet under ground because of some  _ bastard father  _ of ours couldn’t keep his stupid evil lackeys under control. Their  _ addressed _ to a little brother who had lost his only sibling who just  _ happened  _ to be Kanto’s youngest Champion at the time.” Ash didn’t know when his body started to fully shake as his words grew sour and the tears were getting harder to hold back. “The boxes are only here because League Members want to seem like they  _ care! _ Like they care for a boy who never spoke or interacted with them during Gala’s and Conferences.” 

Ash looked up and he knows he’s sobbing, yet his words have never felt so down right clear cut, cold, and vile to his own ears. “They only send them because they feel  _ obligated _ to!” Ash’s voice raised an octave as his anger and everything else laced between his words. “Not because they  _ want to _ . It’s because they  _ have to. _ ” His voice had gone silent but the tears were steady. “Because wouldn’t the world look at them like a group of  _ monsters  _ who forgot about the boy and his friends who saved the world over and over again.” 

A cruel self deprecating smile took over Ash’s face as the tears finally stopped. His eyes a blazing mix between icy blue and whiskey brown. “But that didn’t stop them did it? Because the bad guys are still coming and  _ I’m  _ the one left to clean up after them.” He was being vindictive, Ash knows it as the Professor visibly flinched. 

And just like a flip being switched. Ash pulled himself up from his slouch position and his face back to a slight frown. Ash’s eyes never wavered off of the three in front of him. “But don’t worry, Professor Sakuragu.” Ash tried his best to quit his breathing as best as he could. “The boxes will be gone in half an hour.” 

The rest of the kids soon went away. Scrambling away from the  _ freak  _ who called himself human. 

Koharu looked honestly scared for her life. Her Yamper in front of her growling along with Gou’s Scorbunny. the two hid behind the Professor as the man looked down at Ash with a complex look. 

Ash didn’t care. He’s too tired to try even try anymore today. Ash just wanted to get the boxes  _ gone  _ and one more night of sleep at the dorms before he probably got booted out in the morning. 

Pikachu chose that  _ exact  _ moment to wander into the dorms through one of the Pokémon doors. The electric mouse looked happy and clean. The complete opposite to Ash who was still sipping wet and just so fucking  _ tired.  _

“At least you’re seemed to have some fun today.” Ash’s words made Pikachu jump into the air slightly. The mouse Pokémon looking like it’s paw was caught in the Pokémon treat jar. Guilty to the max, like he personally betrayed Ash something fierce.

Ash didn’t say anything else. Turning to the boxes and sifting through them. He didn’t care if Pikachu left, with Gou and Koharu, or up stairs to their dorm room. Ash doesn’t  _ care.  _

He tried his hardest not to start sobbing again when he opened the last box. There was at least one of each type of red flowers grown in the world in the last box. 

Ash failed when he sees that each flower stem had a small slip of paper taped to it. Each paper slip had a small note of how Red was seen by everyone in the league. 

Ash sinks to his knees as his heart was clawed out of his chest and shredded to pieces. 

No one comes and check on Ash to see if the boy was okay. 

But that’s okay, Ash is used to it. 

—

Ash kept to his word, got rid of the boxes from the front entry. Everything was gone. Every box, every present, every letter,  _ every flower.  _ Gone. Vamused. No more. They were now separated between the large recycling bin and the garbage dumpsters behind the dorms. 

Ash didn’t go to dinner, instead curling up in his bed with his face shoved into the pillow. Ash doesn’t want to face  _ anyone _ . He doesn’t want to  _ move _ . Ash didn’t move when Gou had came into the room and paused before turning tail and heading out. Ash didn’t move when Koharu came into the room, hands on her hips with her Yamper at her feet, didn’t say anything when she huffed an annoyed breath before turning around and leaving. Ash  _ definitely  _ didn’t move when Professor Sakurage came into the room, calling the trainers name softly with promises of snacks and other sweet treats if Ash just gets out of bed and come down stairs, Ash could only start breathing shallow breaths again after the Professor had left. 

Ash stayed in the same position as Gou came creeping into the room. Scorbunny and Pikachu with him as Gou tried not to look at the prone form on the bed. Pikachu didn’t move off his shoulder to go even see if it’s trainer was at least  _ physically _ okay. The electric Pokémon just shoved its head more under Gou’s chin as the younger trainer moved to his own side of the room to get ready for one of the worst nights of sleep Gou ever had. 

—

Ash finally moved from his position, rubbing his shoulder as he sat up. His mouth felt dryer than any Sandstorm or desert, but he’ll live with it. Ash had gone through worse than a dry throat. The large burn in the middle of his chest feels like bubbling oil poured on his skin, It’s okay because Ash had worse. The light scar in the middle of his right tumble beats with pain, Ash has dealt with worse. 

He needed fresh air, been cooped up in the room for over eight hours now. Ash tried to stay silent as he looked around for a new pair of socks and his other pair of shoes, for Pikachus sake at most.

Slipping out into the hall and down to the front entrance was easy. There wasn’t any research assistant coming up and down the halls of the building, which was weird but Ash couldn’t care less. It just made his walk easier. As Ash stepped out into the world from the front doors he was hit by the smell of that particular scent that rises when the rain stops falling. Crisp and strong, the best smell in Ash’s opinion. 

He turned left, passing by dark windows as Ash followed the path towards the garden. The place had a large garden full of flowers from around the world with a few pounds for small water Pokémon. In the center was a gazebo type thing, but it had a large crystal in the center. It was for other students and research assistants way to pray to their Gods, and it seems everyone does it at least once a week. Except Ash who doesn’t have a God to pray to, he had watched Gou even do it. The boy had prayed to Mew, of course, Gou mumbled something before the topic of Gou catching the Pokémon was brought up. 

Ash didn’t know how to  _ truly  _ feel about Gou’s quest to catch Mew. It sounds like a fun adventure, just one Ash can’t allow to end with fruition. It’s not possible for Gou to catch Mew anyways, the dented and sea salt crusted Poké Ball sitting in a tiny safe next to a severely dented Master Ball in his room says otherwise. But it’s not like the other boy would listen, and who would? A child at the age of sixteen, given the key factors if Ash wanted to contain two highly strong Gods. 

He shoved the thought out of his mind, instead focusing on how the nightly dew made the grass glisten like diamonds were in the dirt. The gazebo wood flooring creaked a little with Ash’s steps and the hand crafted crystal chimes ringing softly in the air. There was no breeze but the soft melody welcomed him, unknowingly twirling around the boy and becogning him under the small glass arches and wooden roof. 

The crystal was like the giant one in Anistar City, the only difference was that it was  _ a lot  _ tinier and a nice royal purple in color. The floor changed from wood to glass the closer it got to the crystal in the center. The colorful glass depicting all the Gods known in the world, even Heatran had one.  _ Victini should have one _ , Ash’s mind was rueful. Victini was the last one of its kind and yet it wasn’t made a legendary. But it’s not Ash’s place to decide that factor. 

There was pillows in a pile by some guard walls. Kept dry by water resistant sheets. Ash smile apologetically at a pair of Rattatas that took up residence away from the storm in the pile of pillows, taking one that was furthest away from the rodent Pokemon. The cotton sheet of the pillow felt cold, but Ash didn’t complain. 

He couldn’t, really. Who was here with him besides the pair of wild Pokemon? Arceus? Ash poker face doesn’t change. His lips don’t cure into a sour sneer as the question was fulfilled. The light behind Ash was blinding, the stench of ozone and Ranunculus was suffocating. He stuck his face into the sweatshirt Ash had put on in place of his soaking wet shirt from earlier, it was Gold’s sweatshirt. The older boy would have given it to Ash when he was a baby and would chuckle when it would completely swamp the boy. Ash ignores the ping of needles threading through his rib bones at the thought. 

“Sorry,” the voice spoke, soft and dull with an accent not from this world. The Pokemon, turned  _ man, _ moved next to Ash. not daring to touch the boy who was slumped on his knees with his head bowed before the crystal. The man also didn’t move to join Ash. and why would he? Why would the  _ God of Gods _ pray for his creations? Ash didn’t voice his question, staying silent as the man standing above him sighed in disappointment. 

“Fate is horrible,” Arceus breathed out, sounding just as tired as Ash. the young trainer hummed in agreement, the only sound he made for the past nine-something hours. He hadn’t checked the clock that was above the door to the dorm room before slipping out into the hallway. It was broken anyway, yet Gou wouldn’t listen to him about it. Gou doesn’t listen to a lot of things he says. 

“Yet it’s something we can’t run from,” Ash finished off the Gods sentence. His voice cracked multiple times while he spoke for the first time other than sobbing, Ash’s throat was still dry. Arcues offered an unopened water bottle, the boy wouldn’t drink from an unopened can of  _ anything  _ if Ash didn’t see someone else drink it first. A self imposed rule, Arceus had no doubt, that was picked up along the way.

“No matter how we try and run from it, or mold it to our liking.” Arceus agreed. Retracting his hand after Ash shakingly took the bottle. Arceus chose not to smile as Ash shot him a slight glare after the boy had taken a few large gulps of water, the God had no doubt the boy had tasted the slight fuse of honey and peppermint in the water. Ash didn’t say anything else as he downed the rest of the liquid before handing the empty plastic bottle back up to Arceus. 

“Thanks.” Ash whispered, barely heard over the soft chimes. 

Arceus hums his acknowledgement. Making the bottle disappear as Ash bowed his head again with slumped shoulders. The God could feel the prayer the boy was whispering under his breath, it pushed against his concise in a hesitant way, Arceus gently guided it down to Giratina. Sending his own thought out to the sky’s above, to his daughter Cresselia. Asking her to come down and gift the boy a dreamless, yet restful night of sleep, Her soft confirmation felt like silky stardust against his human body’s skin. 

It was an hour and a half before Ash sighed and sat up, bringing his arms up above his head in a stretch. An hour and a half passed before Ash stopped whispering prayers to all the Gods the boy could remember. An hour and a half passed as Arceus drifted through the day’s event, quietly aggravated at the humans interactions with Ash.

Ash lowered his arms to his side, and slumped against Arceus pant legs. His eyes drooped as his cheeks pressed against the soft silk of the Light grey dress pants. Arceus wasn’t hesitant to drop a hand down from his crossed armed position to brush his fingers through Ash’s knotted bed head. “Brush your hair, child.” Arceus sighed. Lightly tugging a few knots out. “It’s worse than a Tangrowth on a bad day.” He scolded softly. 

Ash giggled tiredly, turning his face up so that the Gods fingers brushed against the side of his face. “Only if you get Volcanion to willingly smile at a human that’s not me.” Ash teased, a small smile edged his lips as Arceus cursed a bit to loud above him in a language Ash doesn’t know. That’s okay, he’ll probably get Deoxys to teach him later. 

“Little Storm.” Arceus breathed the nickname with a fond tone. Healing a little of Ash’s soul from the tiny bit of love in between the words.

“Old man.” Ash teasingly sneered back with the same fond tone. poking his tongue out between his mouthful of fangs when the God gently tapped the back of his head. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just a few moments free of their ever busy schedule.

Ash was about to speak, some excuse that he should head back to the dorms on his tongue, when Pikachu came bounding around the corner. 

“Pika!” The mouse cried when it saw Ash sitting under the gazebo roof. Pikachu launches itself up the steps into Ash’s open arms. The Pokémon clinged onto the sweatshirt as a tiny sob shook shook its body. Pikachu could barely fit into Ash’s lap from how big the Pokémon had gotten, so it made due by getting off and circling the boy. Brushing against Ash’s back and resting its head on Ash’s shoulder so Pikachu could run their cheeks together. 

Arceus raised an eyebrow at the frantic Pokémon rubbing up against Ash, unimpressed by the show of  _ ‘faith’ _ from Pikachu. It wasn’t his place to comment on it though, so Arceus left it to Ash. Favoring to lift his piercing eyes towards the star covered night sky.

“Hey Ash,” Arceus mumbled down to the trainer. The boy looked up from rubbing cheeks with Pikachu. 

“Yes?” Ash asked back. Eyes wide as he looked up to Arceus. The stars glistening in his eyes. 

The God sighed as he stared down at the trainer. The boy has been through so much, has seen life and death more than a human should. Yet  _ somehow, _ Ash keeps trucking on. With a, quite frankly,  _ terrifying  _ amount of determination and love for the world around him. 

“Have you ever been to Galar?” 


End file.
